Dear Ms. Brann
I have decided to write as often as I can from now on. It seems to be a good exercise of thought, much like how physical exercise is giving my life its shape. I have also decided to give these letters titles, instead of leaving them all as just “Dear Ms. Brann.” I imagine the titles will land somewhere between Pascal’s Pensées and Montaigne’s Essays (maybe even Aristotle, to some extent) — remnants of personal anecdotes, plus a diary of sorts.
Ever since I returned to Korea, I have been immersed in work. The phrase “work-life balance” always struck me as an “I don’t like my work, so something has to change” kind of claim. So the first principle is to do what you love — or love what you do, whichever way it runs. If neither can be done, change what you do. In that sense, my life’s purpose is defined by the work I do and the achievement I seek: more tangibly, realizing a worldview through the business, or more broadly, through the community I am building.
In doing so, I find myself deeply shaped by the relationships I am in. I mean the word broadly — friendship, work relations, love. Each begins differently: friendship by the chance of encounter (joy), work by the dependency of sustenance (wage), and love by… well… the force of attraction (or repulsion, for that matter). Even so, because of the first principle, the sustainability of any of them — at least for me — hinges on whether the time spent, or the sheer existence of the other, draws me toward the better me: the person I want to become.
Caspar David Friedrich, Two Men Contemplating the Moon (ca. 1825–30)
Maybe that’s a selfish reason. So be it. In the end, the change happens within myself — drinking less, exercising daily, keeping a diary, spending more wisely. Yet I only seem to move when a relationship is at stake. Not because the other person forces me to, but because I see them and am inspired to finally take the actions I have known, for a long time, I should take.
I have a date on Tuesday. It’s been a very long time since I have been on one. It’s only a first date, so I can’t be sure what it will be like, nor where it might lead. But waiting for it, I stopped drinking for a week and am… well… writing this. I guess it’s off to a good start, at least. Wish me luck. And if there’s no luck, I suppose I’ll just keep broadening my relations, in whatever shape or form, to make myself better.
Agwn